Forever Single Fan Gifts

And that's why I'm still single!

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

Do you think I'm sixty?

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

'You have the right to remain silent. . .'

"I'm sorry your team lost - perhaps you should have rooted for the other team."

"I'm sleeping in today. I got in late from last night's orgy."

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

"I'm so grateful to play for this fantastic club....a childhood dream come true!"

Dniel Boone makes an involuntary fashion statement.

'You can't just nod. You have to say, I do. Good Lord. Are all mimes this annoying, or is it just you?'

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

I always think of old age as ten years older than I am.

"Don't worry, sweetie... Daddy is just adjusting the television...Mr. Maher is all in favor of people being exposed to channels like HBO."

Cowboy with hat out Title: 'Homeless on the Range'

"Of course I'm young at heart...I had one of my wrinkles pierced, didn't I?"

'I've decided to stay in bed till lunchtime to see if I feel like a teenager again.'

'These new bendy wagons will be handy when pulling em into a circle.'

'Each candle represents a year of you remaining 35. . .'

"You look amazing Dad. Has Mrs Arnold been ironing your face again?"

Snail Peephole

'Face it -- you'll NEVER catch up to Lady Godiva's approval rating.'

'I've had raging hormones for the last 80 years.'

'Gosh, Jane, you're even prettier than that cute little chimpanzee I was out with last week!'

Peg Party.

'This court hereby sentences you to fifteen months in an imaginary box.'