Singles Club Member Gifts

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Sorry - you're just not my type...!"

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

"You'll learn a lot at our book club...like how to read between the wines."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"Do you know what girls want?"

Table for two. Whom does sir think he's kidding? You're right table for one. Menu.

Men drinking

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

Snub Marine

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

Eric knew where all the real slappers hang out.

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

"Since no one showed up, I'll keep my remarks brief."

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

"hmm....I'd like to tick her box."

"I fancy tall men."

"Okay, I'm intrigued."

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

'Boy Scouts aren't ANY kind of terrorists!'

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

First singles bar! 'I ain't married!'

'Those girls must be in a cone of silence. I talked to them and they acted like they couldn't hear me.'

Woman seeks male companion...

Peg Party.

'Forget it, they're gay.'

"Well -- You're over 30 so you probably just slept on it wrong."

Man marooned on island sets up bar for 'singles night'.

'I read the Club's constitution and then realized I did fit the entry criteria, so I decided to join...'