Singles Event Gifts

'I guess what I'm basically looking for is a man who can pump as much iron as I do.'

'Excuse me, haven't I seen your face somewhere else?'

'Watch out! She's a complete airhead!'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

Speed Dating Disasters

Table for two. Whom does sir think he's kidding? You're right table for one. Menu.

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

"Do you know what girls want?"

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

Brenda second-guesses her decision to date a wi-fi hotspot.

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

Eric knew where all the real slappers hang out.

"Sorry - you're just not my type...!"

"hmm....I'd like to tick her box."

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

Singles Night: 'No, no, it's not you, the problem's with me - it's just that I'm cursed with good taste.'

Peg Party.

'Hey baby - where you been all my lives?'

Woman seeks male companion...

Boyfriend Shirt, Boyfriend Jeans. . . Boyfriend.

'Those girls must be in a cone of silence. I talked to them and they acted like they couldn't hear me.'

Closing Laugh Singles Bar

"When you're single, you're neither loved nor hated."

'If you're God's gift to women, I'd rather just have the money.'

Imaginary boyfriends are best.

5-hour relationship drug.

He sounds like a hunk, his profile says bulky and athletic

"When I ask myself out, I always say yesh...."

Man marooned on island sets up bar for 'singles night'.