Attending A Singles Event Gifts

Peg Party.

Sloaney Pony.

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

How to read the dress code?

'He hasn't missed a turnout in ten years!'

I am your BIGGEST fan!

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

Speed Dating Disasters

"Do you know what girls want?"

Cat Love Ads: "Are you; 'Stubborn, lazy, unfaithful and psychopathic...with no sense of humour?""

"You've got to blurb me to her."

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

Eric knew where all the real slappers hang out.

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

"Height is the only thing I'm capable of changing about myself."

"Any apologies for absence?"

Upbeat conversation/downbeat conversation.

"Okay, I'm intrigued."

'That one is a real bargain if you don't mind the chin strap.'

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"hmm....I'd like to tick her box."

'Gordon is the latest in a series of unfulfilling relationships.'

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

"Do you mind if we cut out the small talk?"

Dorothy and the singles bar

'Forget it, they're gay.'

'Those girls must be in a cone of silence. I talked to them and they acted like they couldn't hear me.'