Singles Celebration Gifts

5-hour relationship drug.

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

Happy Valentine's Day.

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"Do you know what girls want?"

Old Love

Speed Dating Disasters

Table for two. Whom does sir think he's kidding? You're right table for one. Menu.

Romance

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

'You only love me because you haven't got a boyfriend!'

Two men toasting

Brenda second-guesses her decision to date a wi-fi hotspot.

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

Christmas Socks

Eric knew where all the real slappers hang out.

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

Carnival

Keeping Warm

"hmm....I'd like to tick her box."

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

'Online dating is rubbish. I've written to 20 women and not ONE has replied.' 'At least you're being spurned in the comfort of your own home.'

'Hey baby - where you been all my lives?'

Boyfriend Shirt, Boyfriend Jeans. . . Boyfriend.

'Those girls must be in a cone of silence. I talked to them and they acted like they couldn't hear me.'

Peg Party.

Closing Laugh Singles Bar

"When you're single, you're neither loved nor hated."

'If you're God's gift to women, I'd rather just have the money.'

'This year I'm celebrating Valentines Day by myself, I have to economize.'