Single's Event Gifts

Speed Dating Disasters

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"Whine and cheezed party."

A man reads a book called 'Opening Lines' while a woman reads a book called 'Brush Offs'.

"Don't wait too long for Mr. Right or you'll end up with Mr. What's left!"

"Teri tells me you're ostensibly straight.."

Wedding - throw the bouquet and the little black book.

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

Table for two. Whom does sir think he's kidding? You're right table for one. Menu.

"If at first you don't succeed, buy me another drink."

"Do you know what girls want?"

'You only love me because you haven't got a boyfriend!'

"I think you two may hit it off. Craig, here, is an attractive male academic in his early forties who seeks a warm, vivacious woman delighting in conversation, arts, and nature for an evolving romantic commitment, possibly marriage, while you, Vivian, are a good-looking, intelligent, stimulating woman in her late thirties who seeks an educated, unattached, well-bred man concerned with ideas, culture, and the environment with whom to share your life interests and companionship."

Brenda second-guesses her decision to date a wi-fi hotspot.

Eric knew where all the real slappers hang out.

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

"hmm....I'd like to tick her box."

'You asked her to go out with you?', 'Yes, but she says there's a lengthy approval process.'

"I used to think maybe I was the problem but then I realized she was just a bitch."

"He's your type--gorgeous, successful, and totally unavailable."

Closing Laugh Singles Bar

'Online dating is rubbish. I've written to 20 women and not ONE has replied.' 'At least you're being spurned in the comfort of your own home.'

'Hey baby - where you been all my lives?'

'Those girls must be in a cone of silence. I talked to them and they acted like they couldn't hear me.'

Peg Party.

'If you're God's gift to women, I'd rather just have the money.'

'This year I'm celebrating Valentines Day by myself, I have to economize.'

He sounds like a hunk, his profile says bulky and athletic

A group of friends singing

5-hour relationship drug.

'Yes, I believe in love at first sight. Apparently you believe love is blind.'

Man marooned on island sets up bar for 'singles night'.

"When I ask myself out, I always say yesh...."

First Date: 'Using a ten year old photo on your dating profile is one thing, using a ten year old photo of a male model is quite another!'