Forever-intenders Gifts

'And when I say clothes horse I mean the exercise bike.'

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

It can be taken up at any age....

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

Do you think I'm sixty?

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

"We're standing in forever chemicals."

'He lived and died for golf.'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Education and Apprenticeships

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

His verbal skills are developing, but his motor skills are very advanced. (Originally published on 2009-02-01).

"If we take a late retirement and an early death, we'll just squeak by."

"I'm looking forward to the next thirty five years of her living with us."

'I told you to not get Danny that Junior Carpenter set.'

"The next one is a hard-rockin', kick-ass, take-no-prisoners tune we wrote about turning sixty."

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

"You're only as old as you feel, right, honey? And today, I feel like being 24!"

"I don't know...but it seems like nothing ever changes around here. It's like we've been 15 years old forever!"

"We can determine your child's gender, IQ and student debt load."

"My inner child just turned sixty-five."

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

Nest Egg

"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."

'Fortunately our generation won't have to pay the huge debt. Our grandchildren will.'

"Your grandfather decided to put his entire fortune into a trust fund until Judgement Day."

'Yes! How does if feel to be giving birth to a future kicker in professional football?'

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

'A 7 load? Do you think I was born yesterday? Oh, wait, I was.'

'Look on the bright side - Our investments with Bernie Madoff must REALLY be paying off by now!'

God hounded by the media.

"Retirement will be a pipe dream for many of us...we need to explore new careers for later life."

Life's game plan for pre-schoolers.