Eternal Investor Gifts

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

'From six to to eighteen, they're always at that age.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"I might have to go to school forever because the more I know the more I know I don't know."

'Due to the record snowfall, every school on the face of the earth is closed except for Wolfbranch Elementary.'

"You say we atheists are going to Hell? Look at all the f**ks we give... Go ahead... Look at them all."

"It was Socrates, wasn't it, who said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living'?"

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

Door sign states: Reincarnation studies Come again ... and again.

'Look at the bright side. Think of our mutual funds going up, up, up!'

'You've spent the last 20 years in college. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

"What can you tell me about the meaning of death?"

'A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing, Wally.' 'It's a good thing, I'm a know-it-all!'

"You've spent the last 20 years in college. what made you stop hiding from the real world?"

Mummy reading a book in his sarcophagus.

"But don't bother making up a schedule for all those projects. I've got all the time in the world now."

"Eternity isn't so bad - as long as I can keep track of how my earthly investments are doing."

How to live on 25 cents a week allowance.

'Eternity isn't bad, so long as they allow us to day-trade.'

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

"I really should have paid attention to everything I learned in Kindergarten."

....Today the new economic forecasts get published...and that means we have to work overtime...sorry.

'I'm going to learn it right this time.'

'Of COURSE we appreciate having someone with your expertise in mergers and acquisitions, but offhand I can't think of another corporation that would match up with ours.'

"It has yet to turn a profit."

'Get Rich' Stock Brokers and 'Get Even' Attorney-at-law.

"Someday, son, you're going to inherit a great deal of money. It's called 'Head Start'."

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

'You're in Graduate School now. I think it's high time I stopped doing your home work.'

Tickets. Game Today. Football is not the same up here. Buying a ticket from a scalper won't get you in --- You have to see Saint Peter to get through the gate. Need Ticket. The players literally fly around the field. And all penalties are forgiven. Are there any similarities to the game on earth? Yeah. When the officials review a close play, it takes an eternity!

"Never stop learning"