Angelic Investor Gifts

'I realize this might be carping but I never did live long enough to enjoy my IRA account.'

Angel talking to broker

'He's back! He just couldn't stand the idea of the stock market going up without him.'

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

To err is human, but to have your stocks recover from a plummet is divine.

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

"If it isn't E mc2!"

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

Buddha Statue: Buy Low, Sell High, Stay Diversified.

'Eternity isn't bad, so long as they allow us to day-trade.'

"Eternity isn't so bad - as long as I can keep track of how my earthly investments are doing."

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'Of COURSE we appreciate having someone with your expertise in mergers and acquisitions, but offhand I can't think of another corporation that would match up with ours.'

"It has yet to turn a profit."

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

Stockbrokers - The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away."

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'the Dow is up'?"

Death of the pope.

"Do you want to add something about not trying to time the market?"

Sell the Universe !

"Sin tax? I love it."

"In Heaven it does."

Library In Heaven Stocks The Bible And Only The Bible

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

'I used to provide capital for business startups. Here's my card. I'm an angel investor.'