Angelic Investors Gifts

"Are you even listening? I'm an arch-angel. There's no such thing as an investor angel!"

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

Magazine Stand at the Pearly Gates

'Eternity isn't bad, so long as they allow us to day-trade.'

Buddha Statue: Buy Low, Sell High, Stay Diversified.

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"Eternity isn't so bad - as long as I can keep track of how my earthly investments are doing."

'Of COURSE we appreciate having someone with your expertise in mergers and acquisitions, but offhand I can't think of another corporation that would match up with ours.'

"It has yet to turn a profit."

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'the Dow is up'?"

"Do you want to add something about not trying to time the market?"

"In Heaven it does."

Library In Heaven Stocks The Bible And Only The Bible

Football

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

Death of the pope.

'I used to provide capital for business startups. Here's my card. I'm an angel investor.'

'I realize this might be carping but I never did live long enough to enjoy my IRA account.'

Angel with dog playing fetch attached.

Demon sticking his tail through female angel's halo

"No prizes for guessing who's been sucking up to the boss!"

"Just between you and me, the universe would move in much less mysterious ways if the spark plugs and the oil were changed on a half-way regular basis."

'I would have taken it with me but the Inland Revenue got it all before I left.'