Angel Investor's Mentor Gifts

'Of COURSE we appreciate having someone with your expertise in mergers and acquisitions, but offhand I can't think of another corporation that would match up with ours.'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

"Like you, I was lost...then I found Jesus!"

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

Counting dollars

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

'How wonderful - the both of us in futures.'

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

To err is human, but to have your stocks recover from a plummet is divine.

"Fifty is plenty.". . . "Hundred and fifty."

'It's true that the meek were intended to inherit the Earth, Mr. Osgood, but we have you classified as 'apathetic.''

'Mr.Shumway here is our visiting ethicist.'

'Eternity isn't bad, so long as they allow us to day-trade.'

'Walter, I warned you about all that angel hair pasta and pie in the sky.'

"Better hurry it up on that 'Eve' project. Adam's been giving the eye to an orangutan."

Buddha Statue: Buy Low, Sell High, Stay Diversified.

"Eternity isn't so bad - as long as I can keep track of how my earthly investments are doing."

'Why have you taken 50% of my investment?'

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

'A few rules for new investors: First never say 'kaching' until the market is up...'

'It was love at first sight!'

"It has yet to turn a profit."

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

Stockbrokers - The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away."

Sell the Universe !

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'the Dow is up'?"

'I should have prefaced my advice with the statement that I'm not an expert on the market.'