Angel Investor's Mentor Gifts

'Of COURSE we appreciate having someone with your expertise in mergers and acquisitions, but offhand I can't think of another corporation that would match up with ours.'

"I'm just glad we got out before interest rates went up again."

"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"

Counting dollars

"Who says you can't take it with you? This one has a fireproof lining."

"I'm not only a Guardian Angel, I'm also an expert at turnarounds."

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

To err is human, but to have your stocks recover from a plummet is divine.

'It's true that the meek were intended to inherit the Earth, Mr. Osgood, but we have you classified as 'apathetic.''

"Fifty is plenty.". . . "Hundred and fifty."

'Mr.Shumway here is our visiting ethicist.'

'Eternity isn't bad, so long as they allow us to day-trade.'

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

'It was love at first sight!'

Buddha Statue: Buy Low, Sell High, Stay Diversified.

"Eternity isn't so bad - as long as I can keep track of how my earthly investments are doing."

"Better hurry it up on that 'Eve' project. Adam's been giving the eye to an orangutan."

'Why have you taken 50% of my investment?'

'A few rules for new investors: First never say 'kaching' until the market is up...'

"It has yet to turn a profit."

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

Stockbrokers - The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away."

'No, we do not make change.'

'I should have prefaced my advice with the statement that I'm not an expert on the market.'

"In Heaven it does."

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'