Forestry Commission T-Shirts

'You can see the trees for the dead wood.'

'Hmph. College kids.'

Deforestation.

Nature versus commerce.

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

God's Subcontractors

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

'And this one's framed in beautiful Brazilian hardwood.'

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

'We don't want you poking around here any more!'

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

Koala

Scenic Root: ants, bugs and worms using an exposed tree root as a scenic route.

"Do we always have to work through lunch?"

"I brought cocoa."

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

The Canoga Forest - coming soon: The Conoga Desert.

"Kids these days and their piercings..."

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it make a sound?"

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

'What do you want to be if there's any world left when we grow up?'

"No coal here, either - but you never know until you look."

Tree Funeral

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'