Forensic Aficionado Gifts

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

The Philip Marlow family

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"He's sulking because I always beat him at Clue ... "

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

'I think I can solve our budget problem with the color scanner, color laser printer and this twenty-dollar bill!'

The Investigation

Ancient Egyptian crime scenes.