Investigation Aficionado Gifts

'What makes you think our office is bugged?'

"Curiosity."

'Ugh. Every single day.'

"I don't do cover ups!"

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

Ascent of Machine.

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Banana Split Personality

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Another Turning Point in the Industrial Revolution. Ford Motor Co. On second thought, let's put the cars on the conveyor belt.

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

Butterfly herders of the wild west.

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

Never.....teach your dog to fly.

'And the best thing about this electric thermal underwear is, no batteries, it's solar!'

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

'Isn't that a little extreme? - Cloning yourself just so you can use the carpool lane?'

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

-"What has this got to do with communication?" -"It's my invention...the hand smiley."

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

"Why didn't we think of that?"

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'If I got the job as a sales manager here at Zenadine, I would probably straggle in around 10, then surf the Net for a while, do a crossword...'

You Don't Have To Be Crazy To Work Here But You Will Be After The Training.

Another new, really cool-looking gadget in a desperate search for a problem to solve.