Investigative Enthusiast Gifts

Reporter #1: telephone wire.

How the LA Times Fired Me for the LAPD (Part 1 of 3)

How the LA Times Fired Me for the LAPD (Part 3 of 3)

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'"

Banana Split Personality

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

Channelling on the Cheap

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"Maybe our beloved founder is trying to tell us something."

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

The lion statues in front of New York City Library are replaced with spies.

'Turns out it was J K Rowling, in the drawing room, with a laptop.'

Office of the Special Investigator: Stepped out to follow the 'money trail'.

'Hey, buddy -- can you keep a secret?'

'This it is, Ferguson! Finally, we found the legendary, mysterious snowmen crematory!'

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

Park bench reserved for Mi6 recruitment.

Illustration for 'The Notting Hill Mystery'. (woman pulled out of the river).

'You've previously worked as a hieroglyph translator and an MI5 codebreaker - ideal!'

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"