Forensic Aficionado T-Shirts

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'We can't go on meeting like this'.

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

The Philip Marlow family

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

'This is a personal insult to me and my family. Paulie, word is you regifted that horse's head I gave you last month. . .'

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

"He's sulking because I always beat him at Clue ... "

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

'I think I can solve our budget problem with the color scanner, color laser printer and this twenty-dollar bill!'

The Investigation