Footie Feverish Gifts

World Cup Fever

"I stand corrected."

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

"I'm looking for a wife who likes to fish, go to the footy, play cards, watch TV, cook, drink and wash dirty socks."

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

Treble

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

Punishment for the kicker.

Fan-Centric Stadium

'And if the scores remain level, you can text the name of the team you want to keep in the tournament.'

Football Crazy.

Footballers - Henrik Larrson

'I take playing footsie very seriously, Jane. You may have won the first two rounds, but let's make it three out of five.'

Wilfried Zaha

U.S. World Cup Frenzy

Social distance queue starts here

"Won't be a minute Boss, just nippin' to the karzie."

Millwall - Hard Hat Area.

Ballet shoes balancing on a telephone wire

"There was excitement at the match today, when a discussion over a VAR decision was interrupted by football breaking out on the pitch..."

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

Sam Allardyce

Referee

'A girl can never have too many shoes.'

"Pace yourself big man! You're fatigued and the footy season has just begun!"

Football Drinks

The Scream take its temperature

'The game's starting to get a bit niggly!'

An exciting online development for people with foot fetishes: Footbook.

'World cup. Big screen TV. See England get knocked out in 3D!'

"He cost a million pounds, they should've spent another tenner on a pair of glasses."

'As I said at all my previous seventeen clubs, I'm a footballer, not a mercenary.'