Football Fever Gifts

Football Drinks

"Why can't they just nod their appreciation?"

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

Football Fans

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Church for sports worshipers.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Bowled over again!

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

The trauma of losing.

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

If nobody had invented graphics

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Football Chameleon

Punt Cake

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

'Another football scholarship offer?'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

The Brothers Grime

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Hell Separates Real Madrid and Barcelona fans.