Foodie Snobbery Pillows

'After crab-cheese canapes, Brazilian fish chowder...'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'I would kill for a truffle.'

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Inappropriate garnish.

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

'A sandwich?'

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

'Perhaps monsieur found the Vichyssoise 'crunchy' because the soup bowl was not edible.'

"I love craft beer! It's opened an exciting new world of snobbery for me."

Gentrification of the Fridge.

"Is this from the community garden? It tastes sanctimonious."

"The people next door eat a lot better."

'I'm picking up unsubtle hints of coffee.'

"I can't find a decent bagel in this place."

"Yes, I'm sure it looked cute and clean, but I would sooner starve to death than eat lunch in a place called Jennifer's Biscuit."

'How do you expect me to reconcile Breughel's Wedding Banquet on your place-mats with bland mid-western cuisine?'

'I love pretentious pasta!'

"It's not even artisanal."

"How do I tell a diner 'no ketchup' in a courteous, yet condescending way?"

'I think you'll enjoy this, Master James... it's sassy but bovine.'

Gordon Ramsey's Dog.

'No Stilton?...what sort of a food bank is this?'

Gourmet Deli - Express Check-Out: $1000 or less.

'Pretty label...shiny bottle...I'll take it!'

'How gauche! Serving oyster crackers with clam chowder.'

'Whoa, this is an exiguous amount of cheese for $25.00, you need to put on a tie.'

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

'Oh good. I was afraid it was meant for us.'

"It's a bit highbrow for my taste!"