Food Snob Humor Pillows

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

'I think I'll go home and eat'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

Filet minion

Bangers and Mash

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

Lockdown casserole

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

Better Not Squash.

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"Would you like to see the markup?"

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'We just invented cooking yesterday, and already she's serving leftovers!'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

"I don't know where to begin, each dish has its own app."

Seafood: "Of course our food is fresh."

You are what you eat (Nuts).

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

"I've been really craving Italian food for months now. Can you grab me two kilos of rigatoni, three kilos of fettuccini, and a bigger shell? The one I have is feeling a bit too tight lately."

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

NASA, 'I thought YOU were bringing a can opener!'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

Uncle Giving Boy a Mince Pie

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

People who steal food out of the fridge at work and then say...

"Obviously, sir, it's a very discerning, vegetarian fly."