Food Snob Pillows

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

Grass Snobs

Gordon Ramsey's Dog.

Gentrification of the Fridge.

Posh Deli - Fois gras, caviar, animal feed.

'The special today is Fritte en Fritte.'

"What wine do you recommend that pairs well with methamphetamine?"

"It's not even artisanal."

"I usually have no problem eating pretty much anything, but your breakfast is really unappealing..."

Inappropriate garnish.

'Looks a little pricey.'

'Oh good. I was afraid it was meant for us.'

'Madam, we do not discuss Julia Child at Maison Henri.'

'Perhaps monsieur found the Vichyssoise 'crunchy' because the soup bowl was not edible.'

"Is this organic."

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'How do you expect me to reconcile Breughel's Wedding Banquet on your place-mats with bland mid-western cuisine?'

'No Stilton?...what sort of a food bank is this?'

'If it's as good as they claim how is it you take so long to sell it?'

'All the 'farmers' at this market are wearing three piece suits.'

Gourmet Deli - Express Check-Out: $1000 or less.

"I'm not rude, I just have good taste."

Counting ribs

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."