Foodie Inaction Gifts

"Chicken 'Laissez-faire'?"

HELLth Food Sprouts

Fast Food Dieter

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'My French is not so good.'

"He's a fussy eater."

"I want proof that I even need that much iron before I go eating all that spinach."

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

'This restaurant has got zero stars, right? Every single one of them is well deserved.'

"You asked me to keep a food diary, this is last week's!"

What do you mean it's not vegetarian? The maggots all jump out...

'I spent the afternoon over a $500 lunch explaining how bad business is.'

'We're sorry sir, but our kitchen is out-sourced and takes a little longer.'

'How can anything this bad be fattening?.'

I Hate Alphabet Soup.

"Combination No. 5--no MSG."

"Fred? Can you help me? I'm really in a jam."

Man advertises his Deli at a televised protest.

'Now that I can afford anything on the menu, I can't digest anything on the menu.'

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

"Oh God, I forgot to ask if anybody had lard issues."

Demonstration at a bar

'I don't think it's so much my inability to lose weight as it is my ability to find it.'

"We don't need menus. Just pick the healthiest dish you have and give it to us deep fried."

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

'Allors Monsieur, let's see... one fish meal... one phone call for the ambulance... that'll be 79,70.'

"I'm spending too much money on food. But what can I do? The kids won't eat anything else."

'What's our offence? We've been on bread and water for 40 minutes.'

Another Bloody Cookery Show

'How many times did I tell you 'Don't eat the free samples given out on the street!'?'

'He's messing with my mind. He ordered a plain donut and a chocolate bagel with sprinkles.'

'I can't conceal it any longer - the food in this place is killing you.'

'Push away from the food, good...'