Food Porn Aficionado Gifts

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"Your meal sounded nice."

Thermidor Dali

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

Dad's old fashioned barbeque

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

As soon as he began speaking Manuel's Spanish accent was unmistakeable and he was evicted from the Local food group.

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

Snacks for Learners

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"He'd like the broiled monkfish, too, but first he's having a quick taste of the gutter."

"A little lamb please."

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"