Food Porn Aficionado T-Shirts

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Party time.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"Your meal sounded nice."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

Dad's old fashioned barbeque

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

Thermidor Dali

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"A little lamb please."

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"He'd like the broiled monkfish, too, but first he's having a quick taste of the gutter."

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

Snacks for Learners

As soon as he began speaking Manuel's Spanish accent was unmistakeable and he was evicted from the Local food group.

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."