Food Police Gifts

'I see you avoided the junk food aisle.'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

"Just a minute, Mister. You're not going out of here looking like that."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

World Hunger Conference.

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'Are you the guy who put gluten in the bread?'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

GM Crops Genie.

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"You can't eat that. It has nuts in it."

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"Did you manage to pass the buck on our dodgy food?"

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

Horse meat scandal.

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

'Finish your food and think about all those poor starving kids in America.'

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

'Just think Nigel, if you weren't wearing grey socks and sandals this could be romantic.'