Food Photo Curator Gifts

"I don't like the food here, but the photos I paot make my friends envious."

"Just bring me something that's going to look good on social media."

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

Avocado Timeline

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

'Amazing this pizza looks just like a brain scan of someone who's experiencing apophenia'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

"Something photogenic for each of us."

"Just a heads-up, the Mushroom and Crab Risotto doesn't like its photo taken."

"In this restaurant, quality control means I must approve every picture you take of the food."

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

"I am off duty, but the body cam allows me to discreetly take photos of my meal."

Almost Everything Bagel

"Omigod! It's the breakfast I made him for his birthday!"

'Care to form a splinter group?'

'Oy! Zadie, I think we need a bigger house!'

"Just eat me, you intolerable pervert!"

"I'm watching my sugar intake."

"Would it be possible to change this to something more instagrammable?"

Stock photography

"I love the splatter effect you got with the green. What brush did you use?"

Food Photography

"Did you get the Gundersons' pics of their Caribbean cruise?"

"I'm a little disappointed. Tastes fine, but not very photogenic."

Craft A Yummy, Grammable Cocktail.

"This gnocchi with sage butter looks nothing like my friend's Instagram photo."

"No. I don't want to eat it. Just post it on social media."

"Sometimes, just to agitate them, I flash my jar on instant coffee."