Food Label Checker Pillows

"Diet Meal Calories: 5 calories when prepared so it's edible: 5000."

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

Two computers, smaller one labeled DATA, the larger one, HYPE

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

"We will demonstrate that climate change denial blogs cause further global warming."

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."

'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

Conspiracy theories

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

'Hey, that line's moving a lot faster!'

'We ran a full DNA test, STR and Mitochondrial analysis... and Bob here 'Googled' it just to make sure.'

'Why on Earth would you ask if this turkey is genetically modified?'

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

Food Uncertainty

"Do you have a few unsubstantiated claims I can borrow?"

'The food inspector, Sir!'

"Stacy. Stacy. Honey... You're not a doctor."

The food inspector