Reading Food Labels Pillows

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'You have to send in $5 for a decoder ring to decipher the list of ingredients.'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

'You're lucky you can't read.'

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

"Boneless, gluten free, vegan, grass fed, free range, bananas."

Now With Organic Artifical Additives

Animal Crackers. What a mess! I have to check them all. The box says "Do not eat if seal broken" --- Does this look like a seal to you?

'Orange juice from 100% carrots'

One of several sugar maple trees is labled sugar free.

Lack of Nutrition Information

All Organic Pork: "Naturally smoked bacon my ass."

Carcinogenic/Non-carcinogenic.

"Apparently, some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but others cure it."

Roseanne4

'This snack is vegan. It's 100% artificial ingredients.'

'She read the ingredients listed on the label.'

"Looks like they've simplified the nutritional information."

"What's all this fuss about genetically modified food, anyway?"

"It says all the chemical ingredients in this food were made by organic, free fange scientists."

'Do you remember when food had food in it?'

Peanut Butter Warning: Contains Peanuts.

'Well, SURE our customers want more nutritional information, but what about OUR privacy?'

'Blessed before 20/01/00'

"Label says it's organic. That just means it's made in the State of Organ."

'The first dozen ingredients in this cereal are various sugars.'

'Apparently it's not suitable for the elderly or children...'

"I read all package labels for my health. Now my eyes are shot!"

'This looks good. The first ingredient is calories.'

'Apparently some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but some of the other additives cure it.'