Food Label Decipherer Pillows

'Apparently some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but some of the other additives cure it.'

"They finally simplified the nutritional information."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

'Of course you can't have the chef's salad. What will the chef eat?'

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

'...we were able to hide some rather significant losses.'

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

One of several sugar maple trees is labled sugar free.

Lack of Nutrition Information

"I believe it translates to... have a nice day."

'I've never seen this symbol before. What could it mean?'

'You have to send in $5 for a decoder ring to decipher the list of ingredients.'

Europe and TTIP

"Apparently, some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but others cure it."

Carcinogenic/Non-carcinogenic.

'This prescription looks as though the doctor wrote it in Greek.'

"That Pink Slime I keep hearing about; is that a hamburger or the dessert?"

'She read the ingredients listed on the label.'

"Looks like they've simplified the nutritional information."

Peanut Butter Warning: Contains Peanuts.

'What do you say we throw caution to the wind and order something we can't pronounce?'

'Apparently it's not suitable for the elderly or children...'

"What you need is a prescription. I'm giving you some...."