Food Label Reader Pillows

"And this new product has absolutely no added preservatives...at least I didn't add any!"

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

'Continue gently simmering for ten minutes...'

Compliments to the chef - "Thank you very much, but all I did was follow the directions in the cookbook."

'I've relaxed, put my feet up - Now, where's that good book you promised me?'

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

Now With Organic Artifical Additives

"Look what I found on sale! Measuring cups to use for all your recipes!"

"Boneless, gluten free, vegan, grass fed, free range, bananas."

One of several sugar maple trees is labled sugar free.

'Orange juice from 100% carrots'

Lack of Nutrition Information

Carcinogenic/Non-carcinogenic.

'If you'd like to, you can discuss the question of eating genetically-modified food with our staff ethicist.'

"Apparently, some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but others cure it."

'This snack is vegan. It's 100% artificial ingredients.'

All Organic Pork: "Naturally smoked bacon my ass."

'You have to send in $5 for a decoder ring to decipher the list of ingredients.'

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

'She read the ingredients listed on the label.'

"Looks like they've simplified the nutritional information."

"It says all the chemical ingredients in this food were made by organic, free fange scientists."

Peanut Butter Warning: Contains Peanuts.

'Do you remember when food had food in it?'

'Blessed before 20/01/00'

"Ok, now I've separated the eggs."

"Label says it's organic. That just means it's made in the State of Organ."

'The first dozen ingredients in this cereal are various sugars.'

'Apparently it's not suitable for the elderly or children...'