Food Label Reader Gifts

"And this new product has absolutely no added preservatives...at least I didn't add any!"

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

'Continue gently simmering for ten minutes...'

"Do you have anything with FOOD in it?"

'I've relaxed, put my feet up - Now, where's that good book you promised me?'

Compliments to the chef - "Thank you very much, but all I did was follow the directions in the cookbook."

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

Now With Organic Artifical Additives

"Boneless, gluten free, vegan, grass fed, free range, bananas."

"Look what I found on sale! Measuring cups to use for all your recipes!"

Animal Crackers. What a mess! I have to check them all. The box says "Do not eat if seal broken" --- Does this look like a seal to you?

'Orange juice from 100% carrots'

One of several sugar maple trees is labled sugar free.

Lack of Nutrition Information

All Organic Pork: "Naturally smoked bacon my ass."

Roseanne4

Carcinogenic/Non-carcinogenic.

"Apparently, some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but others cure it."

'You have to send in $5 for a decoder ring to decipher the list of ingredients.'

'If you'd like to, you can discuss the question of eating genetically-modified food with our staff ethicist.'

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

'This snack is vegan. It's 100% artificial ingredients.'

'She read the ingredients listed on the label.'

"Looks like they've simplified the nutritional information."

"It says all the chemical ingredients in this food were made by organic, free fange scientists."

Peanut Butter Warning: Contains Peanuts.

'Do you remember when food had food in it?'

'The first dozen ingredients in this cereal are various sugars.'

'Apparently it's not suitable for the elderly or children...'

"Label says it's organic. That just means it's made in the State of Organ."