Food Intolerance Gifts

She's just discovered her IBS isn't caused by chocolate!

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

The Nihilist Deli.

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

Gluten-free Santa

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"Happy Birthday, dear! It's gluten-free, lactose-free and sugar-free."

Squirrel in tree with t-shirt saying ''may contain nuts.'

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

"Are there nuts in this?"

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

'Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is perfect for them.'

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

Gluten-Free Church

"It's the gluten-free edition."

'It's wheat-free, dairy-free, fat-free, nut-free, sugar-free and salt-free...enjoy!

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

'Is the homework gluten free?'

Does this contain garlic?

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

"It's too bad you're allergic to nuts."

"Thank you for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Mrs Williams, but I'm allergic to peanuts, gluten, and I'm pre-diabetic."

"Peanuts, lactose and gluten are fine. I'm checking for garlic."

'I'm sorry sir, but this highway is lactose intolerant.'