Food Intolerance Pillows

She's just discovered her IBS isn't caused by chocolate!

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

The Nihilist Deli.

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

Gluten-free Santa

Squirrel in tree with t-shirt saying ''may contain nuts.'

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"Happy Birthday, dear! It's gluten-free, lactose-free and sugar-free."

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

'Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is perfect for them.'

Gluten-Free Church

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

"It's the gluten-free edition."

"Are there nuts in this?"

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

'Is the homework gluten free?'

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

"It's too bad you're allergic to nuts."

"Thank you for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Mrs Williams, but I'm allergic to peanuts, gluten, and I'm pre-diabetic."

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

Does this contain garlic?

"Peanuts, lactose and gluten are fine. I'm checking for garlic."

'I'm sorry sir, but this highway is lactose intolerant.'

'It was late, very late, but the peas had touched the mash potatoes, and only dawn could lift the curse.'