Food Sensitivity Pillows

'I stand here before you with a heavy heart. There is a growing wheat intolerance in our land, and that makes my stomach turn...But get this! They say that's what we're doing to them!'

'The good news is that you don't have mad cow's disease. The bad news is you are lactose intolerant.'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

The Nihilist Deli.

The Sensitive Dude.

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

Gluten-free Santa

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

"Happy Birthday, dear! It's gluten-free, lactose-free and sugar-free."

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

'Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is perfect for them.'

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"It's the gluten-free edition."

We Honor Major Credit Cards and Most Dietary Restrictions

"We shouldn't have sugar, wine, beer, cake...we may not live longer but it sure will feel as if we do!"

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

'It's wheat-free, dairy-free, fat-free, nut-free, sugar-free and salt-free...enjoy!

'Is the homework gluten free?'

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

Does this contain garlic?

"Thank you for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Mrs Williams, but I'm allergic to peanuts, gluten, and I'm pre-diabetic."

"It's too bad you're allergic to nuts."

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

"Peanuts, lactose and gluten are fine. I'm checking for garlic."

"I don't really hate vegetables...but they're my last line of defense before liver and onions."

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten or extra gluten."