Food Sensitivity Pillows

'I stand here before you with a heavy heart. There is a growing wheat intolerance in our land, and that makes my stomach turn...But get this! They say that's what we're doing to them!'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

The Nihilist Deli.

"I'm a strict vegan with dietary limitations due to specific food allergies. What should I get?" "A taxi."

The Sensitive Dude.

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

"The chef will accommodate gluten-free requests, but only with a note from your doctor."

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

Gluten-free Santa

"Happy Birthday, dear! It's gluten-free, lactose-free and sugar-free."

"If you eat gluten, we have a ton of it in the back."

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

'Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is perfect for them.'

We Honor Major Credit Cards and Most Dietary Restrictions

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."

The Gluten is Free. RUN!

"We shouldn't have sugar, wine, beer, cake...we may not live longer but it sure will feel as if we do!"

"It's the gluten-free edition."

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

'Is the homework gluten free?'

"It's too bad you're allergic to nuts."

Does this contain garlic?

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

"Thank you for the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, Mrs Williams, but I'm allergic to peanuts, gluten, and I'm pre-diabetic."

"Peanuts, lactose and gluten are fine. I'm checking for garlic."

"Everything on the menu can be prepared with no gluten, standard gluten or extra gluten."

"I don't really hate vegetables...but they're my last line of defense before liver and onions."

'Please sir, does this contain nuts?'