Food Debate Champion Pillows

The Last Dinner

"Were you genuinely interested in where I get my protein, or was it the introductory question to a long and pointless attack on my personal dietary choices?"

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

Mayo-A-Mayo

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'

"Beans count as healthy vegetables but jelly beans don't? Not faaaiiir!!!"

"Never eat anything you can't lift over your head."

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

'The vegetarians are the smug-looking ones...'

'I wouldn't call myself a vegetarian, but I don't eat dead animals either.'

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

"What would make it perfect, egg salad or pastrami?"

"We're wolves, Jessica. We eat veal."

'Ever noticed how triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones?'

"Papi, we've decided we want nothing but salads...and hamburgers...for every meal."

'If you'd like to, you can discuss the question of eating genetically-modified food with our staff ethicist.'

"Patient continues to entertain the sincere delusion that apple pie served with a slice of cheese on top is delicious..."

Once again, the conversation gets too heated, and the selection of a state muffin has to be shelved until next year.

"What's all this fuss about genetically modified food, anyway?"

Restrooms.

'Here's a song for all of you who are conflicted over whether or not it's safe to eat genetically-modified food.'

'Keep complaining about my meals and you can fry your own salad!'

"Are you still a vegetarian if you only eat herbivores?"

"I've been eating genetically modified corn all my life and I don't see what all the fuss is about!"

Joes Vegetarian Restaurant, where the chef tucks into a steak

James and I discussed at length what the best type of margarine was.

'If you put it that way, alright, I agree with you.'

"I warned him not to go vegan."

"I have mixed feelings about gluten"

"And now to present the arguments for chlorinated chicken. . ."

Man at restaurant is presented with his roast pig, as the pigs grieving family look on.