Flyscreen Fixer Gifts

"Bob, Bob, he's about to open the flyscreen door! It's our chance to get out of this place!"

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

Computer operator welding machine.

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

System failure - calling for sysadmin...

'I told him over and over again never to press 'delete' more than twice!'

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

'George, I can't sleep with a window shade flapping! Get up and fix it!'

"They call you Abominable and me a monster, and they don't even know us."

Cyber disease.

'Forget about going to the store for a bicycle patch. I used one of your nicotine patches.'

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

"It ain't pretty. You got a bad flap-valve leak, and your tenor drones are all gunked up. It'll be a week at least, IF I can get the parts. I do got a loaner, but she ain't much."

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

"Have you tried switching it off and switching it back on again - or pretending there's absolutely nothing wrong with it?"

To continue with tech support, you must be in front of your computer and have a soldering iron, a voltmeter and a circuit tester available.

"I just got these new glasses from my ophthalmologist – they come with tiny windshield wipers to clean the fog from my mask!"

'Look, Doctor. I just want him cured. I'm not interested in what's wrong with him, so skip the lab work."

"That's really great , but what do you do if you want to remove the nail?"

"We'll get that infected tear duct fixed up in no time."

'Please report any drips to maintenance immediately.'

'OK, Mr Smith, we're ready for your colonscopy!'

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

Boy with his finger in a leaking water bed.

'That's one way to 'shut down' the system...'

Stitches.

"This Michael Cohen is giving fixers a bad name."

"Tia Carmen, can you fix my curtains? I ripped 'em by accident."

"Get me the Big Guy. Yeah, the dawn broke again."