Flyscreen Fixer T-Shirts

"Bob, Bob, he's about to open the flyscreen door! It's our chance to get out of this place!"

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

Computer operator welding machine.

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

System failure - calling for sysadmin...

'I told him over and over again never to press 'delete' more than twice!'

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

Son? We need to talk about inappropriate life choices. I was joking. I'm not going to be an investment banker. Great! I'd hate to see you waste your talents. There are plenty of other jobs. Like the fixer who disappears famous athletes' awkward e-mails. You'll always be employed.

'George, I can't sleep with a window shade flapping! Get up and fix it!'

"They call you Abominable and me a monster, and they don't even know us."

Cyber disease.

"It ain't pretty. You got a bad flap-valve leak, and your tenor drones are all gunked up. It'll be a week at least, IF I can get the parts. I do got a loaner, but she ain't much."

'Forget about going to the store for a bicycle patch. I used one of your nicotine patches.'

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

Will sneak through the woods and throw your ball back into the fairway.

'Is the drain still clogged, Henry?'

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

"Have you tried switching it off and switching it back on again - or pretending there's absolutely nothing wrong with it?"

Cyclist looks bemused as his efforts to pump up a flat tyre inflates the the bike frame instead.

To continue with tech support, you must be in front of your computer and have a soldering iron, a voltmeter and a circuit tester available.

"I just got these new glasses from my ophthalmologist – they come with tiny windshield wipers to clean the fog from my mask!"

'Look, Doctor. I just want him cured. I'm not interested in what's wrong with him, so skip the lab work."

"That's really great , but what do you do if you want to remove the nail?"

"We'll get that infected tear duct fixed up in no time."

'Please report any drips to maintenance immediately.'

'OK, Mr Smith, we're ready for your colonscopy!'

'I guess it's official now. No one in this town actually makes anything anymore.'

Boy with his finger in a leaking water bed.

Boss, someone called The Fixer is here to see you. Excellent. Go out and tell him I want him to teach you everything he knows. I don't see why I should have to keep paying him when I've got my very own minion. Pay extra attention to the issue vague threats to shut down lawsuits part. If he asks why I didn't fire him myself, you tell him I've moved to Botswana. Very bad man.

Stitches.

'That's one way to 'shut down' the system...'

"Get me the Big Guy. Yeah, the dawn broke again."

"This Michael Cohen is giving fixers a bad name."