Window Fixer T-Shirts

"Oh, I see you found my ball."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

"She does this when she's tired."

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

'Yes, you were abandoned. But then I adopted you. Why are you still taking it out on my couch?'

DIY.

"I bit someone once, but It was just to establish credibility."

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

Super glue . . .

"Turn down the bass."

Irritable dowel syndrome

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

Jude completely misunderstands his doctor's request for a stool sample.

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff..."

'Are you ready for me to read the instructions yet?'

Nobody new the identity of the mad bandager

"It's quite alright searching for the perfect phone. But remember there always will be upgrades."

Unfinished Furniture.

"A little high and inside."

'I'm from the odd shaped glass supply company.'

Young Roger Penrose: 'Dad, I want to become a floor tiler.'

"Quick, act casual."

"I was just kidding when I said that thing they sit on is a giant chew toy. I hope you can act cute, because you're in big trouble."

Cat scratching chair. Chair falls on cat.

"You were right, dear, slippers, shiny floor and a grouting gun don't mix."

"Have you tried switching it off and switching it back on again - or pretending there's absolutely nothing wrong with it?"

Nature's revenge

"That's not the real me."