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'A little help!!'

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

A DIY disaster.

"I don't do windows."

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"The good news is...you've one less window to wash."

Lady about flat tire: 'It's not too bad - it's only flat on the bottom.'

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

The world's most unemployable family

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

Lazy plumber.

Bob’s Museum

'Whatever you do, don't tell them you think you're ready to take on more responsibility!'

"Never marry an engineer."

"We've run all the technical stuff and found the cause of the funny sound coming from your computer."

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

'It says, please disregard this reminder if your payment has already been sent.'

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

"Would you mind filling this with confetti?"

"Turn down the bass."

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'I'm sorry, but it's suffering from a terminal disease.'

"Do you mean am I busy busy?"

'Oh yes, Leomard's a fixit-it man. Only problem is, who'll fix it after him?'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 2