Flying Gifts

"I have a terrible fear of flying coach."

"Boy, first class sure looks good."

"It's not enough that I fly first class...my friends must also fly coach."

"This is coach class. Let's lose the smile."

'This one's for coffee.'

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

A man in an airplane shoos away geese

"Good morning passengers awaiting Flight 3335 to Lisbon. We just want to remind you that if the planes leaves the ground and you're not on it, you'll regret it..."

"This is so cool! I'm flying this thing completely on my Palm pilot!"

"I try to do my part."

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

'On the plus side folks, we'll be landing way, way ahead of schedule.'

'Trade you seats?'

Airplane Seatbelts

Flying 101: Keep landings equal to take offs.

The latest innovation in air travel: convertible jets.

'So we're predicting a nice comfortable flight today folks, unless of course we run into any cloud cover.'

"At this time I'd like to ask you to remain calm, fasten your seat belt and flap your arms just as fast as you can."

'I thought we'd never break through those clouds!'

'You can relax now, ladies and gentlemen, , , we're through all of that rough turbulence,'

A sky writer writes, 'Thank you.'

'Not only is this the shortest runway I've ever seen it's also the widest!'

Man Jumps Out Of Plane With No Parachute.

"I used to be afraid of flying, but thanks to airplanes, not anymore."

"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"

'Forget everything I told you about flying.'

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

'He must be going economy!'

"Maybe they've oversimplified the cockpit controls."

'That's New.'

'Oops' Plane crash

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

On the plus side, folks, we should have you on the ground way, way ahead of schedule...

A man a plan a canal Panama.

'This CAN'T be safe! We need a bigger helicopter!'