Fluttering Friend Gifts

Caliologist

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Airlines

'What zip code are we in now?'

"First class, or with children?"

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

"Here we are."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Fighter Jet Sneeze

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Airport Security.

Fight or Flight

"Sure my wings flap 70 times per second-- I've been sipping nectar all day."

Boptimism

Pilot with champagne.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

Cat chases mouse across a Zeppelin.

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

"Recalculating route..."

'I'm on my way!'

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Superman flies Batman over a suburban neighborhood.

Airplane Mode.

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'