Kitty-loving Friend Gifts

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Ganges

"And where have you previously moused?"

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

Cats on Board.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

' 'Cat in the Window'...chapter 14...'

"I hate it when we fight."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

The practical psychopath

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

Shelter Cat Nap

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"It doesn't do anything all day but eat and sleep and get waited on by a staff of bipeds. I think we've found the leader."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Sunday P.M. July 15, 1990 in the Watternods' Living Room with the Watternods' Dog and Mr. Wu Lung's Cat from Next Door

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

'One final question.. what's your policy on table scraps?'

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.