Kitty-loving Friend Gifts

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Ganges

"And where have you previously moused?"

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Cats on Board.

The practical psychopath

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

"I hate it when we fight."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

' 'Cat in the Window'...chapter 14...'

Should've been routine. That was before the dog called and offered to pay twice as much to have the master put down.

Shelter Cat Nap

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

"It doesn't do anything all day but eat and sleep and get waited on by a staff of bipeds. I think we've found the leader."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

Sunday P.M. July 15, 1990 in the Watternods' Living Room with the Watternods' Dog and Mr. Wu Lung's Cat from Next Door

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'You're doing that just to bug me, aren't you?'

'One final question.. what's your policy on table scraps?'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."