Flying Pillows

"I have a terrible fear of flying coach."

"Boy, first class sure looks good."

"It's not enough that I fly first class...my friends must also fly coach."

"This is coach class. Let's lose the smile."

'This one's for coffee.'

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

A man in an airplane shoos away geese

"Good morning passengers awaiting Flight 3335 to Lisbon. We just want to remind you that if the planes leaves the ground and you're not on it, you'll regret it..."

"This is so cool! I'm flying this thing completely on my Palm pilot!"

"I try to do my part."

'Keep repeating to yourself: I am a high flyer, I will not dive for the salmon.'

'Trade you seats?'

'On the plus side folks, we'll be landing way, way ahead of schedule.'

Airplane Seatbelts

'So we're predicting a nice comfortable flight today folks, unless of course we run into any cloud cover.'

Flying 101: Keep landings equal to take offs.

"At this time I'd like to ask you to remain calm, fasten your seat belt and flap your arms just as fast as you can."

'You can relax now, ladies and gentlemen, , , we're through all of that rough turbulence,'

'I thought we'd never break through those clouds!'

A sky writer writes, 'Thank you.'

'Not only is this the shortest runway I've ever seen it's also the widest!'

Man Jumps Out Of Plane With No Parachute.

"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"

"I used to be afraid of flying, but thanks to airplanes, not anymore."

"It's the part about 60 take-offs and 54 landings that worries us."

'He must be going economy!'

"Maybe they've oversimplified the cockpit controls."

'That's New.'

'Forget everything I told you about flying.'

'Oops' Plane crash

A man a plan a canal Panama.

'This CAN'T be safe! We need a bigger helicopter!'

On the plus side, folks, we should have you on the ground way, way ahead of schedule...

'I always forget whether I'm flying a 747 or playing an organ.'

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'