Fly Humor Aficionado Gifts

'At home with the blue-arsed flies 2009.'

'I fell in a bowl of soup yesterday, but luckily, I didn't get burnt: It was a Gazpacho...'

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

Emotional Support Pest

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

'How long did you try before calling?'

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

The Problem with the TSA

Flight School.

'I'm sorry Daisy. Things can never be the same between us!'

'Darling - look! I've dropped a gene size already.'

'I can't go on like this Wilfred - you've changed so - You're no longer the man I married.'

"Well, technically, your eyes are bigger than your stomach."

"We've ruled out Islamophobia and Homophobia. Let's turn to food phobias. How do you feel about Tilapia?"

'Catching flying fish!'

"Just ignore them. They're summer people."

'That's the trouble with the older generation...they're too intolerant.'

'Next time the captain says to turn off your cell phone, just do it!'

"It looks almost too good to regurgitate on."

'Well, of course it stinks, but once you start regurgitaing it in your saliva, it'll taste as good as a dead cow in the July heat … now let's join the swarm.'

Oh,thank you God!

'Do currants have wings?' - 'You've just swallowed a fly.'

Did you double dip?

'The good news is, you're getting reincarnated...the bad news is, you're gonna be a mayfly...you've got five hours!'

Fly calls out to his friend who is being swatted: 'Your wings, Chuck! Use your wings!'

Faecebook Fly.

A fly gets clearance from the control tower to: 'Fly around erratically, bumping into windows and buzzing around cow's backsides.'

Harold...your human is open.

'Gimme your wallet! I've got a salmon, and it's farmed'

'YAY! Grass gravy!'

"Stop, Frank! That's not deodorant!"