Fly Humor Aficionado Pillows

'At home with the blue-arsed flies 2009.'

'I fell in a bowl of soup yesterday, but luckily, I didn't get burnt: It was a Gazpacho...'

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

Emotional Support Pest

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

Do you mind if I mix a little business with pleasure and have a brief conversation with the waiter about the fly in my soup?

'How long did you try before calling?'

The Problem with the TSA

Flight School.

Waiter, why are there TWO flies in my soup? The second fly is the first fly's attorney.

'Darling - look! I've dropped a gene size already.'

'I'm sorry Daisy. Things can never be the same between us!'

'If this is a fly-on-the-wall documentary, I'd be more interested in the fly's next chapter'

Two witches at airport waiting with signs: One says 'Dorothy' and the other one says 'And Your Little Dog Too!'

"Just ignore them. They're summer people."

'Catching flying fish!'

'That's the trouble with the older generation...they're too intolerant.'

"We've ruled out Islamophobia and Homophobia. Let's turn to food phobias. How do you feel about Tilapia?"

'I can't go on like this Wilfred - you've changed so - You're no longer the man I married.'

"Well, technically, your eyes are bigger than your stomach."

'Next time the captain says to turn off your cell phone, just do it!'

Did you double dip?

'Well, of course it stinks, but once you start regurgitaing it in your saliva, it'll taste as good as a dead cow in the July heat … now let's join the swarm.'

"It looks almost too good to regurgitate on."

'Do currants have wings?' - 'You've just swallowed a fly.'

Oh,thank you God!

'The good news is, you're getting reincarnated...the bad news is, you're gonna be a mayfly...you've got five hours!'

Fly calls out to his friend who is being swatted: 'Your wings, Chuck! Use your wings!'

A fly gets clearance from the control tower to: 'Fly around erratically, bumping into windows and buzzing around cow's backsides.'

'So...Now I can get American's loudy service and U.S. airways inept baggage handling all in one convenient airline?'

'YAY! Grass gravy!'

Faecebook Fly.

'I'm afraid we're out of whisky, sir -- the pilot drank it all.'