Bird Humor Fan Pillows

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

'Polly wants a cracker!' 'Maybe we should switch to low-carb crackers?!'

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

''What's in the bag, lady?''

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

Cyclist Flamingoes

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

'Take me to your feeder,'

New York Scatological Society

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"Wanna get pigeon holed?"

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

A couple of birds out on the town.

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

Hoody Woodpecker.

"Well, that backfired."

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

"Stop serving Table 3 complimentary bread."

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

Blackbirds.

'Sure I can do same day service.'

"I don't feel like going out. Why don't just the two of us stay in and open a can of worms?"

Closed for Summer.

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

Squawk dirty to me...

'Why can't I ever lead?'

Artist Hazards

Once Henry saw that his usual 'Mating Dance' moves weren't working, he decided to go 'Gangnam Style.'

"Well, this anti-aging cream clearly states it removes crow's feet."