Flooring Specialist Gifts

Flooring Specialist

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"I stand corrected."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'That plant food really works!'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Some unusual family photographs decorate podiatrist's desk.

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

Synchronized Diving: 10 & under division.

'You got here just in time - These shoes are killing you.'

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

'You are pigeon toed.'

Swimming Champion.

"We're thinking Shag Carpet. I'm tired of hardwood floors."

At Michawl Phelps' baptism.

The first reported sighting of Bigfoot's podiatrist.

'That was some varnish remover!'

Chiropodist is wearing a gas mask while treating a client.

That adds life! Before we installed the carpet, I looked down and saw nothing except a blank stair!

Fissure waxing - Department of Seismology.

"The podiatrist's is right over there ... in the foothills."

Young Roger Penrose: 'Dad, I want to become a floor tiler.'

"If anyone wants me I'll be on the shop floor strutting my stuff."

'I thought if I tried diving, I wouldn't mind a bath so much!'

'Hello, high gloss floor wax - I'd like customer service. Yeah - I would like to report a problem!'

Floor manager.

"You were right, dear, slippers, shiny floor and a grouting gun don't mix."

Dive in...