Flooring Gifts

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

We had to stop - there's beautiful hardwood under the subfloor.

"You were right, dear, slippers, shiny floor and a grouting gun don't mix."

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

"The hardest thing about learning to tumble is the floor."

Bunny Hop Hug

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

"We're thinking Shag Carpet. I'm tired of hardwood floors."

"I've been researching a little furniture company that I'd like to rearrange."

'That was some varnish remover!'

Santa checking out sleigh beds.

That adds life! Before we installed the carpet, I looked down and saw nothing except a blank stair!

Fissure waxing - Department of Seismology.

Coming home to an empty apartment made him realize just how much he needed stuff.

Young Roger Penrose: 'Dad, I want to become a floor tiler.'

Floor manager.

'Hello, high gloss floor wax - I'd like customer service. Yeah - I would like to report a problem!'

Little Did She Know

"Well I've done the floor! Only two days hard graft, but I thought you said the apartment had a sea view..."

"Don't get the wrong idea, but I think I should tell you that all my furnishings are from Ikea."

The corporate merger of Plushy's Carpeting and Sticky's Velcro was not a success.

'Carpets' 'Try before you buy'

'You've got to give her points for originality.'

DIY'ers Heaven. I wonder if I can get under this floor covering and take a gander at the subfloor

F&E Floor Coverings. Your carpet will be $750 plus tacks.

'I'd better not come in: My shoes could damage your brand new wooden floor...'

Carpets and truckpets.

"That's my idea of an open floor plan office."

Dang, I dropped that mole, too …. I've got to get a new floor covering…

'I tell you what, it's much more comfortable with a cushion...'