Flooring Enthusiast Gifts

Fissure waxing - Department of Seismology.

'...About this laminated wood flooring I purchased from your company last year...'

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

The Corporate Ladder and the Corporate Elevator.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Corporate Ladder and Corporate Elevator

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

Offices moved to 23rd floor - taking the company to new heights - the management.

'That's right, we're going all the way to the top floor ... I'm late for a meeting!'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

Going Down?

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

Thumbing a Lift.

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

Elevator charge $1.00.

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

The guy who got in on the ground floor

'Not only did they install an elevator to help you get over the dam, they also hired an elevator operator.'

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

"Can you at least pretend to try and hold the elevator so I won't mull over and over how you didn't hold the elevator."

A Fork-lift.

Ten business commandments, city trading floor

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

"This thing is so slow!"

'Going up?'

Chatty, garlic-coffee breath, apathetic, contagious

"We're thinking Shag Carpet. I'm tired of hardwood floors."

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

"Do we look like we're going up?"

"I see you ladies are admiring the Tuscan Blue."