Flooded Garden Survivor Gifts

'I think there's something wrong with the water feature, Gerald.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

'My hero!'

Noah wears hearing protection as animals howl.

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

'I see the name they've called this winter storm, is certainly more civil than what you called it.'

"I say we throw the damn things overboard."

She's Not Heavy, She's a Heroine

"I don't get it. How come it's so cheap?"

'This doesn't look good!'

Flood-stricken woman saves goldfish

New Power Shower.

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

The Trials and Tribulations of Superheroes.

'This is a fine time to think we should have bought a houseboat!'

"There's been an accident in the kitchen." "I know, I've just eaten it."

Welcome to the middle class Jer$ey $hore!'

Water Shortage

"We've got water views again."

'After the first few floods our insurance company insisted we future-proof the house.'

"The first thing we do is go and withdraw our 'rainy day' investment."

'If you didn't know how long a cubit was, you should have asked...'

'I wonder what the excuse will be this time...'

"I thought help would be here by now."

'Don't worry, the ground water here is clean.'

"Of course I remembered your tennis ball collection."

'We have plenty of electricity and great phone service but still no rain.'

"Well, they didn't send us the new flood barrier!"

Climate Change Winner

"Thanks for stopping by and for taking some of our dog's hair home with you."

"Apparently after your fifth bout of food poisoning they suggest you take one home."