Flooded Garden Survivor Gifts

'I think there's something wrong with the water feature, Gerald.'

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'My hero!'

'I won't let global warming change my lifestyle.'

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

Noah wears hearing protection as animals howl.

'Damn! I was saving that for a rainy day!'

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

'I see the name they've called this winter storm, is certainly more civil than what you called it.'

"I say we throw the damn things overboard."

New Power Shower.

"I don't get it. How come it's so cheap?"

'This doesn't look good!'

Flood-stricken woman saves goldfish

'Call an emergency church supper! The freezer's gone out!'

The Trials and Tribulations of Superheroes.

'This is a fine time to think we should have bought a houseboat!'

"There's been an accident in the kitchen." "I know, I've just eaten it."

Welcome to the middle class Jer$ey $hore!'

"We've got water views again."

'After the first few floods our insurance company insisted we future-proof the house.'

'If you didn't know how long a cubit was, you should have asked...'

"The first thing we do is go and withdraw our 'rainy day' investment."

"Well, they didn't send us the new flood barrier!"

"Apparently after your fifth bout of food poisoning they suggest you take one home."

"Thanks for stopping by and for taking some of our dog's hair home with you."

'We have plenty of electricity and great phone service but still no rain.'

Climate Change Winner

'Don't worry, the ground water here is clean.'

"Of course I remembered your tennis ball collection."

"I thought help would be here by now."

"I guess that bone's a goner..."